


I Still Remember

by Dawnyzza



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:05:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnyzza/pseuds/Dawnyzza
Summary: Please tell me your thoughts and if you have any constructive criticism. English is not my first language so if you find any mistakes I've made feel free to point them out.





	I Still Remember

_I still remember your beautiful emerald eyes and soft light brown hair._

It all started so long ago, a dream so sweet I never wanted to wake up. How did an innocent dream turn into a nightmare?

_I still remember how we first met, so young and pure, books instead of cherry blossom trees surrounding us._

You said you loved me so long ago, but it’s so fresh in memory it feels like it was just yesterday. Your face painted scarlet, reaching the tip of your ears, and trying to stutter out an explanation. I’ll admit I wanted to crush you at first.

_I still remember that rainy day after school._

As it rained heavily outside I made my way from the library to go home. I had yelled at you that day, taken out all my pent up frustration on you, I felt slightly guilty when you ran away with unshed tears in your eyes. Even so when I reached the bottom floor to get out, you were there, umbrellas in hand and saying all those sweet words. I even remember thinking how weird you acted, running away when I held your hand.

_I still remember the day we went home together._

As time went on I started to take a liking to you, I’ll admit it wasn’t my first thought, but you’ve been on my mind ever since. The first day we went home together you were so stiff it was like taken out of a bad comedy, your face crimson once again. You embarrassed yourself and me, then you met my cat Sorata, who honestly didn’t like you and things seemed to be going fine. I held you so tightly that night, hoping you wouldn’t disappear.

_I still remember the misunderstandings._

By the blink of an eye you vanished from the face of the earth, that one cruel morning, sometimes I still feel the pain in my head after you kicked me. I know I laughed and made you sad, but I promise I didn’t mean it. It was all a big misunderstanding.

_I still remember when we met again 10 years later._

You looked so familiar when you first arrived in my editing team, but I couldn’t pinpoint you until you said you read your high school’s library books at a regular basis. I was so shocked at the time all I could do was stare at you until you asked what was wrong. Like hell I’d tell you that we used to date 10 years prior. After all, you had a fiance.

_I still remember when I promised I’d seduce you until you said you loved me._

How you handled it when you found out it was me was, and still is, priceless. You went from furious to sad, almost crying, in a matter of seconds. I didn’t care about all the misunderstandings, you’d been on my mind for 10 years, all I wanted was to make you fall for me again. No matter how jaded and stubborn you’d become.

_I still remember when I challenged and teased you everyday at work._

Since you worked under my guidance we could spend so much more time together, and it was always fun to tease you in the office. Just seeing your blushing face made me love you even more.  
When faced with impossibilities, made by me, you would still do everything in your power to get it done.

_I still remember how it was to live right next to you._

I knew you wouldn’t be like you were 10 years ago, and being your neighbor let me see the new you. Just seeing you everyday, dragging you into my apartment a lot, made me fall for you even more. I knew you were scared of getting attached to me again, but we both knew you loved me.

_I still remember when you gave me a heart attack._

When Isaka became the new head of the company you refused to go home with me, insisting you had plans. Later I got a call from Isaka saying you’d collapsed in the parking lot. With the breath stuck in my throat I rushed to the hospital, heart nearly stopping. While withholding what was troubling you, you caved under the pressure you brought upon yourself. Even after all those years; trying to catch up to me. I promised myself to take care of you, forever and always.

_I still remember the growth of jealousy in me._

An old colleague of mine tried to steal you away from me. He kept showing up in your life, trying to get to you, just to hurt me. Jealousy started growing in my heart every time I heard you’d been with him. You liked to call it little “accidents” but I didn’t believe you, like I should have.

_I still remember that horrible day._

That day off when you came over to my place to eat dinner, you seemed so nervous at first, but gradually started getting comfortable in my presence. Right after dinner you got a call, it was that damn bastard, calling almost in the middle of the night. I remember thinking that you probably always talked to him at this kind of hour, and I’m so sorry for ever thinking that. But even though I was boiling with barely controllable rage, we had a few drinks after dinner. My beloved little brunet, knowing he’s a bad drunk, didn’t want to drink much. But that didn’t stop me and gradually I became even more furious as my mind was clouded. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions that night. I shouldn’t have drank at all and maybe you’d still be with me if I hadn’t. But all I can do is regret as I lashed out to you, starting with words that became shouts, and eventually going physical.

_I still remember the panic in your eyes._  
_I still remember your cries of pain._  
_I still remember you begging me to stop._

But at that time all I saw was blood red. My mind still in a haze, I continued to bring out my frustration on you, until your body was painted blue-purple and matching the color of my sight.

_I still remember you in every detail._  
_I still remember how soft and fluffy your hair was._  
_I still remember how your emerald eyes would reveal every emotion._  
_I still remember how your lips felt on mine._  
_I still remember the old and new you._

_I still remember when I woke up the day after._

I woke up from my drunken night with you, only to find you on the floor. Your body so cold and stiff, every inch of you either bruised or covered in your own dried blood. I held you in my arms and cried like I’ve never cried before. I don’t remember how many days it took for someone to find us, all I remember is that they took you away from me and brought me to this cold, white painted place. I’m always restricted from movement since I will only try to join you my love.

_I still remember._

_I still remember everything about you._  
_Everything except your name._

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me your thoughts and if you have any constructive criticism. English is not my first language so if you find any mistakes I've made feel free to point them out.


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